God has changed my life. PERIOD. I wish I could take every single person reading this blog out for coffee to chat; one, because coffee is just that good, and two, because God is in such pursuit of each one of his children that it is hard to explain in a writing. He created every one of us just the way He desires us. He created us for a purpose, to fall in love with Him, and make His name known among the nations. The question I asked all summer, sometimes without even knowing it, was this: “why do we pursue a relationship with God, and why would He want relationship with me?” Even though Christ took our sins at the cross, which is insane by the way, He made us RIGHTEOUS. He has made us a new creation (Romans 8). We have the power of Christ in us, yet still have indwelling sin. So, God pursues and transforms us so that we may have fulfillment in Him, not the things of this world. With grace comes freedom, with freedom comes purpose, and with purpose comes boldness. God has given me a little bit more understanding of His love and has made it clear what His purpose is for my life…and given me reason (based on His TRUTH) to dive in full force. He has set me free, and chosen me to take that truth to the rest of the world. John 10:10 says: “Satan comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I (Jesus) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” I’m so grateful that our great God cares about the details, and that he would allow me to fall in love with Him in Kenya. He would use us as vessels of Christ’s love to love his beautiful Kenyan children, and show us His love through them. He would allow little Em from Iowa to see the mighty purpose she was created for, and show her that He loves his creation so much that He would fight for them (Exodus 14:14).
As we sit here on our last day of Journey Internship, it is hard to recap the life change of this summer in one short blog. Honestly, it isn’t so much of a change as it was realizing who God truly is, His love for me and who He says I am; a true discovery of my Father and His love. God’s truth was poured into my life in a way it never has been before. As we were in Kenya teaching the kids about God’s pursuit of them through the parable of the lost sheep, it would only make sense that God also taught me about His personal pursuit of me. Each day that we tried to teach on this concept of our God’s love, which truly surpasses all of our knowledge, God opened my own eyes of His Fatherly love for me. There was a moment at the orphanage Happy Life where God whispered sweet words of His love to me: “every need you were created with, only I can fill and I want to.” I came to understand this as I walked in this orphanage full of children, full of needs that I was desperate to fill. Within only a few minutes of being there I became broken. Tears filled my eyes for I knew that I wanted to help these children and reality was there wasn’t anything I could do. So I did the only thing I was released to do for that day, love. I held sweet baby Habima and sang How He Loves until he feel asleep. It was then that God made it so clear that I was his daughter and how He desired to love and fill all of my needs. One of the hardest parts of Kenya was knowing I could not change the circumstances for the kids and people I met but learning to trust that they too are God’s children and He would provide for them in ways I never could. It was hard to leave but I find rest in God’s word that He works out all things for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28) and the same God that is here caring for me, is there caring for the people of Kenya.
There have been so many life changes and lessons that I have learned as a result of being in the Journey Internship. A simple short response would not do justice to the things God has done in me and I see so much the hand of God in my life.
One of the many things that God has revealed to me is the absolute confirmation of my future with him. I saw in a vision during a quiet “prayer journey” we did a few days ago the amount of impact and promise he has for my life. I know I was made to do great things, not for myself to be acknowledged, but to make him known around the world. I saw in my vision that I was standing in front of world leaders in a suit and tie proclaiming God to the nations. I have no idea how God is going to get me there, but I know the obedience that I need to do when I get home. I have definitely learned a very important fact from the Holy Spirit this summer as well, if he asks you to do something, you better do it!
I do not take lightly the things that God has done in my life this summer. My prayer is that I do not lose sight of the plans that God has for me and I do not get discouraged to the point of inaction.
I am so grateful to have been a part of this trip.